Despite how things looked, for the past 12-18 months I had been dealing with feelings of not fully operating in my purpose, frustrated from things that I attempted to do that weren’t moving fast enough, and feeling like I was so far out of alignment from what I was supposed to be doing.
I knew something was off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it so I figured that maybe if I tried to create one more training program, do one more speaking event, or create one more info product that it would bring satisfaction to my unfulfillment….
However.. these things would only trigger excitement briefly before I would hit a wall again.
I slowly began to feel like I was losing myself…
My personality was growing dull…
My light was growing dim..
And the fire inside of me was suppressed!
I had no idea what in the flying football fields was wrong with me….
Then I began to see this crazy amount of buzz on social media about some dang tea…
I was like “what the what is that…. they slanging tea now…. Let’s see how that works out”.
I watched..
I criticized…
I judged…
I discredited all things mlm…
I was bitter…
I was unhappy…
and I admit.. I was becoming a bit of an old bitter unhappy fart…
I started disliking myself..
My conversations were filled with bitterness and a bit of frustration…
I didn’t like the person I was becoming..
I didn’t enjoy anything I did anymore because something deep down inside of me was off…
Then finally, after hopping on a call about that “tea deal”… I discovered there were 700+ people on that call.
The same call I had started with 3 other people a year prior, and had walked away from because those I was partnered with chose to do more mlm deals….
I had given up…
Given up on what had allowed me to become who I am…
I had stopped believing..
Believing in nearly everything around me…
But that call…
Those 700+ people..
To hear their voices, their testimonials and how they were thanking my previous business partner for her bringing that business into their life and how much they felt hope again and began to believe in their futures as a result of the business…
It instantly hit me that I wanted to create that same feeling in others…
I wanted to be in position to inspire hundreds of people…
But for whatever reason, what I was doing was not quite having that impact and I began to wander what I needed to do to create that same level of experience and make that happen for others…
After the call, I texted my colleague and said “Congrats, I’m so proud of you for what you’re doing!”
And the words she would respond back to me would totally shift how I was feeling, and would soften the bitterness that was growing inside of me…
She said “Nic, I’m so happy! I know I’m right where I need to be, impacting so many lives. I love this business!”
Those words would utter out what I desired to feel… and although I just cheered her on… I laid in the bed for half that day wondering “what in the hell happened to me? Where was that chipper, happy, hungry, driven side of me?”
I began to wonder, what in the world was holding me back…
That assessment would lead me to discover a few things that were the root of my misery, and it would quickly show me why i needed to make some changes quickly…
Here’s what I discovered…
1. As great as I am behind a computer, and although I’m a heck of geek online…. I was born to be working with people, not hiding behind a computer and when I’m not connected socially, I slowly begin to die inside….
2. Over the years, I allowed my success and the expectations of others to box me in by feeling like I could no longer do certain things that I used to do because they were “beneath me”… and mlm was one of them…
3. Everything I was trying to create independently on my own.. My coaching programs, info products, and speaking gigs… they were all segments of what I’d been doing since 1998 when I first started in the home based business industry… and I could easily be able to do those things again in a place where it really created an even stronger level of impact, but it would be using a company platform where I didn’t have to deal with all the elements of running a business by myself
4. People that worked with me truly desired to work with me in a Network Marketing Company. They were all network marketers wanting to learn how to succeed in their businesses, while I was trying to show them how to get away from the industry to launch their own businesses, which was something they really didn’t want to do….
5. My Vision is so much bigger than me… As much as I’d like to believe I’m sharp, smart and brilliant, you can only go so far alone….
And I needed to be partnered with others, collaborating with a Unified Vision.. which was to impact, transform and inspire the lives of people…
Bottom line… I was in some ways, trying to recreate what was established in the industry… but I was failing miserably and realized I couldn’t do it on my own!
The Truth is…
I clowned the industry..
I clowned the “call your family and friends”…
I clowned the “hotel meetings”…
And because I did so publicly, my ego was a bit too big to acknowledge that I was even thinking about doing Network Marketing again… but my EGO was creating even more misery….
I can now admit, I was secretly desiring to connect with people offline, realizing that internet marketing could never compensate for human engagement, and that the opportunity to connect with others face to face, hear their voice, see their faces light up as you’re speaking life to them… I secretly craved all those things…
Slowly, my wall of resistance began to fall…
Slowly, my critical, judgemental, bitter ways began to lighten up
Slowly, my hardened heart began to receive from others advice
Slowly, I began to see the beauty of the industry rather than what I perceived as the pain of it…
Slowly I stopped resisting…
Slowly I began to surrender
I finally became open to whatever and however God wanted to put me back in alignment with who I really am, and what I was born to do…
Little did I know, it would be TOTAL LIFE CHANGES that would be the gateway to connect me back with where it all started…
Back to seeing why I was put on this earth…
Back to investing in the lives of others “hands on”..
Back to face to face engagement, great conversation, laughter, collaboration and a unified vision…
Finally, the walls of bitterness came crashing down and God would use this company to kill my ego, get over living up to the expectations of others and finally live to be my greatest self…
It’s not the company, it’s not the people, it’s not the products… It’s me that has been changed, so that I can be open to whatever comes my way to help me stay grounded and connected to my best self.
I’m so honored that in this season, I said YES to Opportunity and NO to EGO…
I’m so grateful, that in this season, I stopped hiding behind my computer, and behind “systems” and connected with people again on the phone, in person and investing in them to help them discover their best self.
I’m so grateful that in this season, I’m spiritually aligned with the right people, in the right place with the right opportunity, for the perfect level of growth that I needed in this season.
In this season I am HAPPY!
In this season I am Living On Purpose!
In this season I am POWERFUL!
In this season I am Right where I need to be!
In this season I am Relentless!
In this season I am Grateful!
In this season I am Transforming Lives!
In this season I am Bold & Unapologetic!
And In this season, I am in Perfect Alignment with where God has called me to be!
I’m sooooo happy! And this picture reflects that!
No matter how Tech Savvy I am…
I AM A PEOPLE BUILDER…
I AM HERE TO TRANSFORM LIVES…
I AM HERE TO INVEST IN THE LIVES OF OTHERS…
I AM HERE TO SHOW OTHERS WHAT’S POSSIBLE…
I AM HERE TO INSPIRE OTHERS TO STEP OUT OF THEIR COMFORT ZONES TO LIVE IN THEIR GREATNESS
I AM HERE TO BE A VESSEL
I AM HERE AS A MESSENGER…
And I’m heeding my call!
If you’ve been watching, wondering and wanted to know what’s the story behind the story, or how you can get away from your fears to live in faith and die to your ego so that you can experience change and partner up with me in this movement… Feel free to inbox me…
We can chat!
It is with honor that I’m here to share my flaws and all…
I hope this inspired you to live in your truth and stop living in bitterness and shame seeking permission from others to validate you…
Let me ask you… if you read to the end of this post, I want to know “What’s Really Holding You Back?”….. Comment below if you’re ready for a shift in your life!
Instead, Be Bold, Stop Waiting & Take Action…..
Nic
http://www.JoinNicoleSCooper.com
read your story is inspiring!